From Birth to Butcher

“There are two spiritual dangers in not owning a farm. One is the danger of supposing that breakfast comes from the grocery, and the other that heat comes from the furnace.”

- Aldo Leopold, A Sand County Almanac

The cycle has come full circle. My first set of calves that I got in March 2020, for whom I hauled fresh water, broke solid ice on water tanks during cold mornings, scratched heads, taught to respect the electric fence, brought to fresh pasture almost daily, and cared for over 21 months — have gone to the butcher. Many people have asked about my feelings surrounding this sober event. I have felt so many varying emotions over the past couple weeks. Here are some of them…

• Pride in how smoothly and stress-free everything went when sorting the cattle in the barn, loading them into the trailer, and driving them to the butcher. I’ve been planning for this day for almost two years. And everything came off without a hitch.

• Sadness that I won’t be seeing these same steers and heifers around the farm whom I’ve come to know and who have taught me a lot. Teary in the days leading up to butcher.

• Surprise at my happiness on butcher day, how quick and easy everything went, what a good life I provided for these beeves, how giddy I felt to be accomplishing this first major goal.

• Mixed emotions because I believe in eating meat from animals that have a good life and improve the land through grazing. I believe in nature’s food system and my place in it. I believe in being this close to my food. But it also means acknowledging death and my hand in bringing about that death.

During this time, I yearned to hear the perspectives of other livestock producers. It is one thing to be a conscientious consumer, to purchase good meat from the store in a package, to consider one’s meat-eating choice before digging in. It is another thing to raise your own meat for two years, to care for the animals, and then to schedule their death and bring them to it. So I turned to the internet and found this beautiful essay by Katherine Dunn called “Farm Confessional: What Butchering Your Animals Really Feels Like.” Her words ring so true…

“It will always be uncomfortable, just like taking a dying animal to be euthanized: You know, and they don’t. You question your motives, as you should; or at least I do, year in and year out. But I come back to the same decision each time: I am part of nature, not above it. I choose to be within the food chain, not to stand outside of it. I think nature has given me a pretty good path to follow, just like it gave all the other creatures a path to follow to survive.”

My aim is to be transparent. To give a behind-the-scenes look at the intimate and raw experience of raising livestock. The clarity can be uncomfortable, for good reason I think. But I believe it’s important to look our food in the eye. To treat it well. To give thanks.

Beef orders available for June

My next batch of beef will be available in late June 2022. I’m taking orders now and already have two quarters sold. First come, first served!

Curious to learn more about buying good meat? The Good Meat Breakdown has lots of resources for consumers on how to find it, buy it, store it, and cook it.

MoSo Jewelry is fully stocked

My MoSo Jewelry Etsy shop has 21 wood and pawpaw earrings currently listed. Free shipping on orders over $35. Feel free to email me with requests! I’m currently creating a few pairs by request and I’m happy to hear what people would like to see.

What I’m reading…

Tinkers by Paul Harding | A novel. “An old man lies dying. Propped up in his living room and surrounded by his children and grandchildren, George Washington Crosby drifts in and out of consciousness, back to the wonder and pain of his impoverished childhood in Maine.”

Farm Confessional: What Butchering Your Animals Really Feels Like by Katherine Dunn | Article in Modern Farmer. “I hang white prayer flags in the stall, and the night before, I sit for a very short time and thank them for their good work and sacrifice."

After a Year-Long Strike, Indian Farmers Score a Big Win by Shiney Varghese | “The country's prime minister has agreed to roll back laws that threatened to corporatize agriculture, jeopardizing the food security of more than 800 million people and further enriching the ultra-rich.”

What I’m listening to…

Check out my Winter Spotify playlist. These are the tunes accompanying me as I wrap presents, make earrings, and drive to the butcher.